Dreams

Everyone imagines life being something completely different from how it turns out. When I was little, I used to imagine high school being this wonderful place where I had a bazillion (yes, I used to actually use that word) friends, where I was going to be valedictorian for my class, and I would finally be honest with myself.

At least one of those things happened – the very last one. My paranoia prevails when it comes to friends. While I get along with a lot of people and like to hang out with them, part of me wonders how many of them actually like my presence, and don’t find me to be a burden. It doesn’t take much thinking on my part to realize I am clingy and tend to stick to one person the minute they are nice to me. I…I just am afraid to find out just how many of those people I believe to be my friends are really my friends.

Valedictorian? Ha! That’s a laugh. Here’s how you think it works: the smartest kid in the school gets valedictorian. Here’s how it really works: the kid who takes the easiest classes gets valedictorian, and the smartest kid is lucky if s/he gets salutatorian. I suppose I’ve only just admitted this to myself. How else do you explain the following: the kid with a 25 on their ACT is valedictorian, and the kid who got a 34 on their ACT is just barely hanging onto a place in the upper third of their class. Yeah. There is no other way. The school system is messed up, and doesn’t think about the people who actually challenge themselves. No, they just reward the people who do things which are below their level.

What brought this up, you ask? Well, I needed to write about something, and not what I am currently thinking about. And still, I get to the point which my life is a ball of stress. Yet, I will make it through. I am determined to make it, show everyone that I can break through whatever they throw at me.

To those who take it easy in high school: you are being stupid. You are going to regret it in college, and you are screwing others over. STOP. Challenge yourself, darn it! You are being unfair to everyone involved!

I know what I’m saying is harsh, but it is true. I’ve already taken two college courses. I barely managed to get a B in one of them. I want to see those who take it easy in high school get good grades. Yeah, no. Not going to happen.

Don’t you love how depressing my blog is? Okay, maybe it isn’t so depressing, but I feel melancholy right now. Maybe if I continue to post, to write, my blog will get out there. I am going to write about exactly what is on my mind. Just like right now.

I want to get out there. I want a shot to show the world what I can do. What I can do for the entire planet. Just give me a chance, darn it! Give me time!

Things are never easy. It doesn’t matter who you are. No matter if you are me, or that kid skidding through high school in easy courses. Everyone gets screwed over at one point or another. I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m just pointing out some of the things that are pretty messed up in the world. Perhaps if I get those words down, someone who has the abilities to change the world will change those words.

Maybe someday I’ll be that person. I have no way of knowing at this point. No way at all. However, I will take my best shot to show the world what I can do.

This is the Mouse. And she will not go down without a fight.