Free time.

Sorry about the empty post. I am using an app on my phone for the first time. Anyway, I'm doing this in my sparce free time. Between science Olympiad, online classes, the musical, and other things, I'm busy nearly all the time. By the way, happy leap day everyone! It is a beautiful day here, which makes everything even better. Too bad I don't get any time to spend outside, enjoying it. I would like nothing more than to sit in the fresh air, reading my novel. Shoot. Out of time. Well, at least I can post more often now...

Free Time

Real Life

People only see the bad side of life. You know what? A billion and one good things happen every single day. For example, on Wednesday, I had my hair complimented so many times – it was amazing. People noticed. People paid attention. Just those compliments made my day into an absolutely wonderful one.

Thursday, I wore my favorite shirt. I got several compliments on my hair, again, but the one I remembered was the person who stopped me to say they liked my shirt. It made me feel so good. No matter how bad a day gets, a compliment, or other little things, can make it better. So, so much better.

Even though I had a bit of a quarrel with my dad on Wednesday, I barely remember it because most of my memories of Wednesday were of my hair being complimented.

I guess what I’m saying is I don’t look at the bright side enough. I think I’m going to point out at least one good thing which happened from now on in my blog, in every post. Including the ones written when I’m upset.

In other news, I am going to be posting some pictures on deviantArt soon which I made – be watching Paradox~TM.

Thanks for reading,

The MOUSE

Cyber Café Drama

So, there I was, just relaxing, having a nice conversation with my friends in our cyber café. One of my friends had just gotten up to go get her lunch from the regular cafeteria. Another girl came and sat in her spot, and I very nicely asked her to move. I was greeted by a string of cuss words – I swear, every other word was a cuss. I couldn’t even understand what she was saying. I asked her nicely to stop cussing, and she did not stop. I ended up having to resort to getting the teacher to come over and stop the other girl. It drove me absolutely bonkers. It is just insane someone would react that way! Absolutely unreasonable. After all, I didn’t do anything to her, just asked her nicely to move over. Gah.

Anyway, I just got my scholarship forms. I have a huge stack of forms to complete in the next two weeks. My life is going to be soooo busy.

Oh! I’m getting my hair chopped off!

Deep Breaths

Deep breath after deep breath. My schedule seems to get thicker and thicker. More and more complicated. I cannot help but get flustered. As I get more flustered, I will likely be writing more and more often in this.

Firstly, I am President of Science Olympiad – the competition will be in early March, so I guess that will be done with when February ends. It doesn’t change the fact that I have two projects to build, test, and graph results for and three tests to study information for. I just need to practice doing Fermi questions, which is partially a guessing game. Brushing up on Optics and Thermodynamics would really help me out as well.

Along with that, there is Jazz Band, which I have about eight different pieces to practice on my clarinet. When am I supposed to do that? Gah, I’m so stupid when it comes to scheduling myself. Adding to Jazz Band, I volunteered to be part of the musical’s orchestra, so I have an entire book of music in keys I’ve never played in before to practice and learn. Lovely. Especially with my lack of time.

And that’s only the beginning. I still have to acknowledge the fact I have Drama Club on Saturdays, and I’m supposed to read five of Shakespeare’s comedies. When do I get time to read? Never. I wish I got time to read.

Continuing, I scheduled myself for two AP courses – one of which I’m way over my head in. I’m in an Independent Research Chemistry class; even more work comes from my Chemistry course.

So much I have to do, and so little time in a week. I just need to sit back and relax, and not even think about what I need to do. Just a day off would be brilliant. Just one day. Of course, I won’t get that. I will never get a day just to sleep all day. At least, I doubt that will ever happen.

Oh, did I mention my college writing class? My essay due for in there makes everything all the more complicated. I have notes to write, an essay to finish.

It’s funny, how writing pointlessly makes me feel better. Maybe my writing without a point is some of my best writing.

Dreams

Everyone imagines life being something completely different from how it turns out. When I was little, I used to imagine high school being this wonderful place where I had a bazillion (yes, I used to actually use that word) friends, where I was going to be valedictorian for my class, and I would finally be honest with myself.

At least one of those things happened – the very last one. My paranoia prevails when it comes to friends. While I get along with a lot of people and like to hang out with them, part of me wonders how many of them actually like my presence, and don’t find me to be a burden. It doesn’t take much thinking on my part to realize I am clingy and tend to stick to one person the minute they are nice to me. I…I just am afraid to find out just how many of those people I believe to be my friends are really my friends.

Valedictorian? Ha! That’s a laugh. Here’s how you think it works: the smartest kid in the school gets valedictorian. Here’s how it really works: the kid who takes the easiest classes gets valedictorian, and the smartest kid is lucky if s/he gets salutatorian. I suppose I’ve only just admitted this to myself. How else do you explain the following: the kid with a 25 on their ACT is valedictorian, and the kid who got a 34 on their ACT is just barely hanging onto a place in the upper third of their class. Yeah. There is no other way. The school system is messed up, and doesn’t think about the people who actually challenge themselves. No, they just reward the people who do things which are below their level.

What brought this up, you ask? Well, I needed to write about something, and not what I am currently thinking about. And still, I get to the point which my life is a ball of stress. Yet, I will make it through. I am determined to make it, show everyone that I can break through whatever they throw at me.

To those who take it easy in high school: you are being stupid. You are going to regret it in college, and you are screwing others over. STOP. Challenge yourself, darn it! You are being unfair to everyone involved!

I know what I’m saying is harsh, but it is true. I’ve already taken two college courses. I barely managed to get a B in one of them. I want to see those who take it easy in high school get good grades. Yeah, no. Not going to happen.

Don’t you love how depressing my blog is? Okay, maybe it isn’t so depressing, but I feel melancholy right now. Maybe if I continue to post, to write, my blog will get out there. I am going to write about exactly what is on my mind. Just like right now.

I want to get out there. I want a shot to show the world what I can do. What I can do for the entire planet. Just give me a chance, darn it! Give me time!

Things are never easy. It doesn’t matter who you are. No matter if you are me, or that kid skidding through high school in easy courses. Everyone gets screwed over at one point or another. I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m just pointing out some of the things that are pretty messed up in the world. Perhaps if I get those words down, someone who has the abilities to change the world will change those words.

Maybe someday I’ll be that person. I have no way of knowing at this point. No way at all. However, I will take my best shot to show the world what I can do.

This is the Mouse. And she will not go down without a fight.